Heyyyy! Welcome on my Deviantart!
I do some drawings for fun once in a while. However, I never post on a regular basis. As you can see I am a big fan of Faust from Guilty Gear!
I'm from the province of Quebec so I eat poutine and I speak french! x) Please note that I eat poutine and not Poutine... thank you! <3
It has been a while, I know. A lot of things happened in my life these last weeks, so I kinda have disappeared from DA. If you go see my other journals, there is a few about my ferrets that I was supposed to give to someone I could trust, but I never was able to make the move. So, I still had Alice and Mia with me. Yes…I had…I did not want to remember the date at first, but I just verified: my dear Alice died on November 20 2016 of a horrible and tragic death. Time passes, but I still find myself guilty of many things. To be honest, I should have gone to the veterinary and maybe she’d by alive now… I saw sings of something, but she looked like she was good and well by the way she acted. I was thinking: maybe she is just getting old!... But when I saw her in a crisis similar to an epileptic one, it was too late… We (me and my boyfriend) drove as fast as we could to the veterinary, crying of despair to see her suffer like this…and then she was gone… I said ‘’T’as abandonné, Alice?’’ translated ‘’You gave up, Alice?’’ … We were on the highway… I could never forget… My boyfriend asked me ‘’ What’s going on?’’ I think I screamed for one of the first time at him in 2 years ‘’ SHE’S DEAD!!!’’ with tears overflowing my face. I never realized how fast we were going, but I felt the car slow down a lot, saw my boyfriend hit something with his hand and started to cry so much… We were really in a dangerous situation, so I told him to take the next exit somewhere. But my boyfriend is such a sensible man… I felt he could not hear me; lost in his sadness… So I panicked and yelled at him again ( something I never do…something I never want to do again)… We had no accident, but… Alice was still dead… I dream of her a lot since. I dream that I’ve lost her (physically) and I do everything to get her back…
Then, of course, everything in life was getting difficult. I was mourning her a lot, this is a normal phase when you lose someone you love. I had already anxiety problems, but they got worse. I decided that it was enough to make people around me suffer because I could not even deal with myself. I went to see a doctor, sadly not Faust…But she’s a nice one, I’m glad to have her to help me. So I am now on medication until I can have access to a therapy and the first few weeks went well. I had some plans; I had almost no phase of panic… I felt like I woke up from months of which I forgot how to live. Motivation came back, unbelievable! I planned to go see and to finally go to university next September! Mia was still alive and needed love to forget the pain to not see the ferret that was his lover for 4 years. (Yeah, Mia is a male, weird story about that…xD) I had the chance to take care of a ferret I had to give because of too strong allergic reactions and an amazing cat for a week. I felt bad to let him alone when they were gone, so I looked for a cat…and…I saw that baby ferret… BUT I’M ALERGIC! I stayed in front of her cage for hours, bagging my boyfriend to accept her in our family. I saw his temptation, but refused because of my allergy and because he also feels guilty for the death of Alice. ''Don't she reminnd you Alice'', I say. ''Yeah, too much'', he said. He went away, I stayed there a while again, talking with a girl who worked there had ferrets herself. Then she say: ‘’ I won’t hide it, I’d be very happy that you bring her with you…many people buy pets without knowing anything and just abandon them…’’ That warmed my heart. However, I was thinking about all the mistakes I’ve done with ferrets, about Alice’s death, about the ferret I had to give from too much allergy reactions last year…about my boyfriend who refused to take her (but still wanted inside)… Well, she is part of our family now since a month! However, Mia got sick…really sick… I’ll skip details, but he had to be hospitalized for 2 days because his sugar level was too low… I could not accept to lose him like I’ve lost Alice not so long ago… I paid around 1500$ CAN of veterinary… Consider I make around 800$ CAN by two weeks… We had good news at first, he was getting better and all… but… they discovered he had another cancer… Insulinoma. In short, his pancreas don’t work anymore…and it can’t be cured! I heard the news, and I could not sleep… We don’t know how much time he has left, but he is under medication which will help him stabilize his sugar level. He did not wanted to eat on his own the first week, so I had to go feed him each 4 hours.
So…why did I disappear? Because I worked 40 hours and more a week, I have a ferret to which I had to give medications each morning and evening and + feeding him each 4 hours (which was impossible since I work 8 hours straight a day) AND I have a new ferret to take care of. She was only 2 months old when I got her and I have to educate her. I feel really lucky, because she stopped to bite us to blood after only 3 days! I want to be the best mommy ferret possible with Tempête. I want that my 5 years of experience serves help her to be a happy ferret, so I can be proud of both of us. I won’t hide you, I took some free time on my own and played FFXIV to relax and explore the new update. By the way, I would also love to have the time to play FFXV as well, I love it!
So yeah, all this took over DA and many things around me. However, there will be a change next week. I decided to work only 4 days per week instead of 5. I will have more time for me, my ferrets, my boyfriend, maybe…try to remake contact with friends?... and finally, I’d like to go back at drawing again! I already got something in mind since a while… On this, I wish you a good day/evening/night and I am sorry if you have been disturbed by my dramatic long text. There is hope, I might not have the chance to go see my lovely friend this year, but I’ll do my best to stand up for whatever awaits me in 2017.
Peace and take care!